MY SON
Raising my son was an uphill battle right from the moment he started crawling. Constantly locked in fierce battles with this spirited toddler, I decided it was time for a psychological evaluation. The diagnosis came back: ADHD, ODD, and a learning disability. I resisted accepting it, convinced that ADHD was over diagnosed in our inner-city community. Determined not to medicate him, I endured endless frustration and anguish as his behavior spiraled out of control. But as others around me insisted that medication was the only answer for his success, I reluctantly gave in, only to witness the transformation of my son into a distant, seemingly depressed child. I longed for the vibrant, spirited boy I once knew, and I resolved to find an alternative way to navigate his condition, no matter the cost.
That’s when I discovered Dr. Russell Barkley and his book “Taking Charge of ADHD.” His principles became my guiding light: implementing reward systems, breaking tasks into manageable chunks, harnessing the power of positive reinforcement, and so much more. Alongside my prayers and daily conversations with my son, I became his unwavering source of discipline and love. When the time for his reevaluation arrived, I found myself seated in a boardroom, surrounded by physicians and psychologists eager to discuss his progress. The results astounded them: his initial 87% chance of incarceration based on early behaviors had plummeted to a mere 8%. They were desperate to know my secret, inviting me to join the board at CHOP for ADHD to share my experiences with other parents and physicians. Despite my initial involvement, the weight of my responsibilities as a young parent, student, and full-time employee forced me to step back from these volunteer efforts.
Despite the positive changes I witnessed at home, the chaos persisted in the school environment. Armed with a cheat sheet and heartfelt advice for his teachers on how to handle him and other students with ADHD, I hoped for understanding and cooperation. Regrettably, my efforts fell on deaf ears as they continued to call me with complaints about my son’s behavior. This pattern followed him throughout high school, where he constantly found himself in trouble, blamed for his struggles, and plagued by low grades. No matter what I did, it felt as if I were pushing a massive tree up an insurmountable mountain. Yet, in the midst of this ongoing battle, I clung to Dr. Barkley’s principles, persevering with a mixture of coping mechanisms, hope, and prayer. Eventually, my son’s situation began to improve, and a glimmer of light emerged from the darkness.
Today, my son stands as a testament to the triumph of perseverance and determination. At 30 years old, he has not only earned his college degree but has also become a successful business owner. Despite the daily challenges posed by ADHD, he continues to push boundaries and take his business to new heights. And now, as he witnesses his own toddler son’s boundless energy, constant exploration, and fearless spirit, his fiancé reaches out to me for direction at least 3 times each week—a humble reminder of the exhilarating adventure are to soon embark on as parents, always chasing behind their little one, who never ceases to amaze them. My son’s story is a reminder that with unwavering support and a relentless spirit, even the toughest obstacles can be conquered.